2008 Woodie Awards
Sex and the Dimple: Gushing Comes Naturally
Tanya Kollar '08
Issue date: 4/30/08 Section: Features
I freaking love Spring Weekend. The sun, the tunes, the way you lose the ability to walk a straight line for a full three days. Amidst the stress of making up for all your mid-semester procrastination, it's a welcome opportunity to let loose and live in the moment. Besides all the food and, ahem, drink, I think my favorite element of Spring Weekend is how you tend to have encounters that wouldn't occur under normal circumstances. Spring Weekend provides the perfect opportunity to finally strike up a conversation (or make-out session) with that cutie from Econ, 'cause hey let's be honest, your inhibitions have most likely left the building. It's not just romantic encounters that tend to be facilitated either. Perhaps you attended someone's musical or theatre performance earlier this year and have been dying to tell them how much you loved it. Without that verbal filter mechanism functioning at its best, gushing comes naturally.
One downside of this phenomenon, however, is the possibility of being hit up by someone with absolutely no game. This can be a product of consuming excessive amounts of certain inebriating substances, or it can sadly result from their general gamelessness. Either way, it makes for quite the awkward situation: (Individual approaches in a staggering trot, proceeds to stand far too close and speaks in a slurred drawl) "Heyyy, you're Tanya, right? I'm Steve, we were in History together Sophomore year? Yea. Well. Um. You're really hot. OK Bye." If you recognize your own gameless tendencies in the above scenario, take a few words of advice. First, that extra shot might make you seem more charming in your own head, but to everyone else it'll just make your eyelids droopier. And second, if you're the latter breed of gameless, invest in some banging cologne/perfume. If you can't sound good, you might as well smell good. 70 percent of the time it works.
One downside of this phenomenon, however, is the possibility of being hit up by someone with absolutely no game. This can be a product of consuming excessive amounts of certain inebriating substances, or it can sadly result from their general gamelessness. Either way, it makes for quite the awkward situation: (Individual approaches in a staggering trot, proceeds to stand far too close and speaks in a slurred drawl) "Heyyy, you're Tanya, right? I'm Steve, we were in History together Sophomore year? Yea. Well. Um. You're really hot. OK Bye." If you recognize your own gameless tendencies in the above scenario, take a few words of advice. First, that extra shot might make you seem more charming in your own head, but to everyone else it'll just make your eyelids droopier. And second, if you're the latter breed of gameless, invest in some banging cologne/perfume. If you can't sound good, you might as well smell good. 70 percent of the time it works.
Be the first to comment on this story